


green eyes (because im a fool)

by smudgywords



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Kyle Broflovski, Bisexual Stan Marsh, Idiots in Love, Jealous Stan Marsh, M/M, Mutual Pining, stan marsh is a disaster, stan marsh-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smudgywords/pseuds/smudgywords
Summary: Stan has been avoiding himself.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 3
Kudos: 150





	green eyes (because im a fool)

**Author's Note:**

> not my best work but certainly not my worst

God, this is tiring. 

There’s only so much of Kyle he can take in one day. Each time Kyle looks at him with those forest eyes it makes him want to die just a little bit more. 

There’s nothing more painful than realizing, Stan, ironically, realizes. Yes, Wendy was beautiful, her long midnight hair that was wrapped around her little finger, as was Stan. But certainly, it comes to a point that Stan sees his best friend of all time, Kyle, and thinks of him as beautiful too. 

Wendy is amazing, and he knows he is lucky to have her, but it rips him apart everytime he sees the way girls bat their eyelashes at Kyle and laugh. He wants to push them away, to hold Kyle close to his chest and never let him go. 

As poetic as Stan is not, Kyle has a sort of shine to him now. He towers over most of the people in their grade, marking an astounding 6”3. Anger no longer makes him shout and point fingers like it used to, it makes his eyes shine and brow furrow while he spits cleverly-delivered words that push you to the bottom of the food chain. It’s incredibly attractive. 

The only one seemingly immune to this treatment is Cartman, who has exactly zero shame. Freshmen who think they’re tough are usually the prime targets. 

The person to his left pokes him, and he realizes that the teacher is calling on him for a question. Stan stammers embarrassingly, “Can you repeat the question?” 

The teacher doesn’t, just walks past him and chooses someone else. Stan has the strong desire to hit his head off the desk. Kyle is in this class, and he’s struggling to hide his laughter three seats over. Stan summons his best dirty glare and shoots it his way, but that makes Kyle shake more with quiet giggling. 

Class is over soon, and Stan sees that he hasn’t written a note down. In fact, he only wrote one thing. Kyle’s name. 

\---

Stan goes astonishingly out of his way to make sure he doesn’t walk to lunch with Kyle. He goes down an alternate stairway, arriving way later than most people. Kenny eyes him strangely, but doesn’t say anything. Settling down in his seat beside Kyle, he doesn’t even bother to get lunch. He doesn’t feel like it, his stomach bubbling with shame. 

Kenny is currently regaling everyone with his tales of banging some girl from West Park. Stan really isn’t listening, neither is Kyle. Kyle is actually staring helplessly at some girl two tables over. She has curly brown hair and is apparently a newcomer to this school. She and Kyle were talking for an entire class period about politics. Stan hates her. 

“Ugh, are you guys even paying attention?” Kenny groans, waving a hand dismissively in their direction. Only Cartman is listening, adding little comments here and there. 

Kyle doesn’t answer, so Stan answers for assumedly the two of them. “Nah, Kyle is too busy giving googly-eyes to that girl,”

Kyle whips around, eyes narrowed. “And that’s your business how?” 

“Just saying, dude, she’s totally a lesbian,” Stan shrugs, feigning innocence. 

“Aw, Stan is jealous,” Kenny swoons, “Doesn’t wanna lose his lil cuddle buddy,” 

Kenny really sucked ass sometimes. 

“Shut up, Kenny,” Stan and Kyle respond at the same time, though Stan takes on a hurt tone accidentally. 

“You can’t just look at a girl who is smart and say she’s a lesbian, that’s not how that works,” Kyle rolls his eyes, huffing. 

But she doesn’t even deserve you, Stan wants to say, she’s sitting with her other friends, not you. She’s not even trying. Stan wants to say it so bad, but he bites his tongue and looks at the ground. 

\---

It was a cold, spring morning when Wendy cut his string. 

Stan was sitting at his desk, sketching eyes like an average white girl while he did his homework. It was a Friday night, perfecting timing for something to ruin his weekend, and month. 

Kyle hadn’t been picking up his phone, too busy hanging out with his girlfriend. Although, Stan wasn’t sure if they were actually dating, but the way they talked made it seem that way. They would whisper and laugh, and sometimes Stan swore he saw Kyle look at him out of the corner of his eye. 

He’d been obsessing over Kyle a bit too much lately, it seems. He had so many thoughts, all twisting his brain and ripping each other. Stan even tried to write poetry, but it didn’t turn out so well.

Morning phoenix ; true rose

Your words make me burn

Your stares make me burn

Your actions make me cry 

He read over the four lines once again, and in a fit of frustration, bonked his head off the wooden desk. Just then, his phone burst into a ringtone. 

Quickly, he picked it up. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey Stan, this is Wendy,” She said, hesitantly. 

“Oh, hey Wendy, what’s up?” 

“We need to talk,” Wendy audibly gulped through the phone, and Stan felt every hair on his body stand on end.  
“I think- I think we need to break up,” Wendy continued, “I just feel-” 

Stan choked. 

“I feel like you’ve just given up on me, you don’t pay attention to me anymore,” 

Air fell from his lungs. 

“You always seem so moody,” 

He nearly dropped the phone. 

“Stan?” 

Stan wet his lips, breath coming in quick, fast paces. “Wendy, I-” He took a deep intake of breath. “If you think that’s what we need- I-” 

“Stan, you alright?” 

“I’m fine, thanks,” Stan said, tone wobbly as he hung up on her. That’s it. A connection broken. She cut the string. 

With a choked cry, Stan threw his phone across the room. It landed on the floor with an awful thump. He couldn’t hear it over his heart pounding in his ears. 

Just then, his phone rang again. Stan was content with leaving it to ring and ring until whoever it was eventually hung up, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Kyle’s name. 

Dragging himself off the chair, he picked his phone up and sat on the carpeted floor. Answering, he tried to clear his voice. 

“Stan!” Kyle’s voice rung out, and Stan really couldn’t help the grin that came to his face at such a tone. 

“Hey,” Stan greeted, trying his best to sound like he wasn’t just broken up with over the phone. His tears were beginning to dry on his cheeks. “What’s up?” 

“Nothing much, just wanted to talk,” Kyle laughed, but it quickly drifted off into an uncomfortable silence. “Are you alright? You seem kinda quiet,” 

Stan inhaled sharply. 

“I-” Stan started. It was stupid to think of an excuse, Kyle would learn sooner or later. “Wendy broke up with me,” 

Kyle said nothing for a second, “Again?” 

Stan huffed, gritting his teeth, “Yes, again.” 

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, you’ll be back together within the week,” Kyle said matter-of-factly. His tone wasn’t snarky, but genuine. 

“Dude,” Stan hissed, “She sounded pretty sure,” 

“How so?” Kyle’s voice was more worried now, and Stan could hear his fingers tapping against his phone anxiously. 

“She said-” Stan choked, “She said that it felt like I gave up on her, and that I wasn’t paying attention to her,” 

“God, she’s fucking psycho, I swear,” Kyle sighed, “You pay so much attention to her, that’s unfair,” 

“She’s kind of right, though,” Stan ran a hand over his face, “I’ve been a little, uh, distracted lately,” 

“About what? Maybe I can help,” Kyle said, ever-so-helpful. Stan almost laughed. 

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” Stan played with the pom-pom on his beanie, “It’s not a big deal,” 

“So, tell me then,” Kyle hummed. 

If only. 

“It’s nothing Kyle, I swear,” Stan sighed, “Nothing you need to worry about,” 

“Alright, if you say so, I won’t lie, you’re making me kind of nervous,” Kyle laughed. 

“Chill, chill,” Stan laughed too, quieter, “Wanna come over after school tomorrow?” 

“Of course, dude!” 

It was a little bit later, Stan was lying in bed and Kyle was surely asleep. Stan was, of course, affected by Wendy breaking up with him, but it’s like they both knew something but wouldn’t say it.  
It wasn’t like he tried to hide it very well, oh, he stared at Kyle whenever he got the chance. It was hard not to. 

But it still kind of hurt when Kyle looked at her, her, her. Stan gave him so much attention, but Kyle was unaware. Unaware forever, it seems.

\------

Now it was barely a month later, and Kyle was sitting in the principal’s office with a bloody nose and busted lip. 

“The guy called you a-” 

“Kyle basically broke his face-” 

“-barely had any damage on him,” 

Stan came as soon as he heard. Fuck modern government or whatever the hell they were learning about, this came first. 

He raced into the office without a care for the secretary, immediately seeing Kyle sitting up straight, looking directly at the principal with blazing eyes. 

“Kyle!” 

Kyle whipped his head around, eyes wide. “Stan? What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Mr. Marsh! What do you think you’re-” 

“I came as soon as I heard, what the heck happened? People are saying you beat somebody up,” Stan came, completely ignoring the principal, whether by will or unconsciously. 

Kyle looked nervously at the ground, the principal practically burning holes into his head. “Uh, it’s a lot to explain,” 

“I have time!” Stan protested, but the principal was having none of it. 

“No, Mr. Marsh, you do not, please wait outside the room. It just so happens that I was about to call you up anyway,” She sighed, fixing her blazer. 

Stan grumbled, walking back outside the office into the little waiting area. There were 3 other chairs there, and on one of them sat a kid with a bloody tissue pressed up to his nose and a black eye.  
Stan narrowed his eyes, wondering if this is who Kyle fucked up. It was some freshman, notoriously desperate to impress. However, Stan really was curious as to what he said. 

“Are you the one Kyle beat the shit out of?” Stan asked, tone unforgiving. Whatever he did, it couldn’t have been good for Kyle to lose his temper as quickly as he did. 

The kid looked up at Stan, eyes a bit scared and face paler. “Y-Yes,” 

Stan raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and using his height to his advantage, “What’d you do?” The kid looked absolutely petrified. 

“I said some stuff about-” The kid shuddered and looked towards the floor, “I talked shit about you, okay?” 

Stan huffed, a laugh almost falling out of him, “Damn, what did you say? I literally couldn’t care less,” 

Just then, Kyle walked out, lip bleeding slightly still. He quickly gave the kid a death glare, which sent him to scurrying to the principal’s office behind them. Kyle seemed the most pissed off that Stan had seen in a long time. 

“Dude, what happened?” Stan laughed, trying to make the redhead lighten up a bit. 

“How much did you get out of the five year old?” Kyle laughed back, but it had tension to it. 

“Apparently, he talked shit about me,” Stan scoffed, “What could’ve been so bad about that? You know I don’t care,” 

Kyle seemed to shift uncomfortably, avoiding Stan’s soft gaze. This should’ve been a warning sign enough, but still Stan pushed. 

“Dude, please, it couldn’t have been that bad,” 

Kyle sighed, “Okay, okay, it’s probably better for you to find out from me then for you to find out by yourself,” He crossed and uncrossed his legs while speaking, “That kid was talking, uh, alot. About your parents,” 

Stan stiffened, crossing his arms defensively. This was not a topic that he liked. 

“And he said a lot of stuff, so I punched him,” Kyle was obviously trying to explain without hurting Stan’s feelings. 

“What exactly did he say?”  
“Stan, I really don’t think-” 

“Kyle, please,” 

Kyle gulped, “He said that you were just like your father,” The ginger stood back, tensing as if waiting for Stan to explode. 

Stan wouldn’t do that. Not to Kyle, that little prick however? Possibly. 

Stan leaned in to give Kyle a hug, but Kyle flinched like lightning had struck him, bringing his hands upwards and seemingly shrinking. Stan’s mouth fell open involuntarily as he furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Did you think I was going to hit you?” Stan whispered, face contorted in pain. Kyle was looking at the ground, face blank. It seemed to burst back into expression, with him rubbing the back of his neck and smiling nervously. 

“Er, well, I don’t know,” Kyle laughed, but it held no humor. He was obviously trying to play off the situation with a laugh, but Stan knew better at this point in their friendship. 

“Dude, but really, did you think I was seriously about to punch you?” He frowned, feeling like a kicked puppy. 

“I mean, you do have a habit of lashing out when you’re angry,” Kyle stopped laughing, dropped the happy-nervous expression, and sat solemnly in the chair. Stan was honestly still surprised that Kyle even tried his ‘perfectly fine’ shtick with him, they’d been through too many years for that. Or so Stan thought. 

“Not at you, though,” Stan shivered. “Is that why you were so scared to tell me?” 

“I wasn’t scared,” Kyle furrowed his brows, “I just-” 

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself,” Stan hushed, “I wouldn’t ever hurt you for no reason, dude, you’re, like, my best friend,” 

“I guess,” Kyle sighed, “Never really know what’s going on with anyone now, seems like everyone I know is pulling out surprises,” 

Stan cocked his head, “How so?” 

“Look at you, all wordy and shit,” Kyle laughed softly, “I don’t know, just my parents and the others lately, it’s nothing to worry about,” 

“You say that about everything,” Stan rose one eyebrow, 

“It’s the truth this time, promise,” Kyle cringed, seemingly uncomfortable with how much Stan knew about him. 

“Well, if you say so,” Stan patted his shoulder softly and slowly, like petting a scared animal. It might’ve seemed a little condescending to Kyle if he didn’t know that Stan only meant it out of the pureness of his heart, “Thanks for what you did, man, you didn’t have to,” 

“Super best friends, right?” Kyle smiled, and Stan mirrored his expression. 

\-----

It didn’t take long for Stan to conclude that it was way too fucking cold for a football game. 

Two minutes out of the door and he already wished he was at home, in bed, watching Chopped. But, alas, Kyle, being the good friend he was, was coming with him and Kenny to watch Cartman and Clyde play, so it wasn’t like he could exactly cancel plans. 

Fucking Cartman, why did he have to be in football? If only Clyde were playing it would be reasonable enough for them to all skip out on it, but no. Cartman, who wasn’t even that good at football, declared that tonight would be his lucky night. Man, he’s full of shit. 

“I don’t even know why you bothered to come, Eric is such a dick to you,” Stan laughed, pulling his scarf tighter around him. He was almost considering pulling a Kenny, wrapping it around his nose and mouth. Kyle rolled his eyes next to him, scrolling absentmindedly on his phone. 

“It’s called being a good friend,” Kyle puffed, “Plus, if being a good friend happens to come with loudly and verbally heckling him everytime he messes up, so be it,” He cracked a grin at the end of his sentence. 

“Damn, looks like you’ll be busy the whole game heckling then,” Kenny murmured from the other side of him. They all erupted in laughter, getting dirty looks from people waiting in line in front of them. 

Eventually, considering this was only a highschool football game and the line wasn’t that long, they got their tickets. They came in cheap at $5 per person, but the snacks were way overpriced, so their overall total would probably come to $30. 

Getting to their seats, which were inevitably cold and wet, they wiped them off with one of their gloves. 

“Hey, so, how long will this game be, anyway?” Stan mumbled, not really wanting to be there. Kyle was shivering slightly, and Stan really, really wanted to give him his jacket at the risk of seeming suspicious. 

“Probably like an hour, why?” Kenny murmured, arranging his coat over his lap like a blanket. Kyle seemed intrigued by that idea, and took off his coat to put over his lap as well. 

“Eh, it just seems,” Stan groaned, stretching his arms, “super long, and boring, football is boring.” He sighed, looking over to Kyle, who was scrolling on his phone. 

Kyle had the expression of a bored supermodel, obviously looking at stupid Instagram memes. His lips perked up at a certain one, and Stan found himself smiling too. 

“Stan, you wanna go get some hotdogs or something?” Kenny laid on the bench, knocking his coat off accidentally, then put his head on Stan’s lap while waggling his eyebrows. 

“Do you have money?” Stan rolled his eyes, smirking. Both of them knew that Stan would buy him a hotdog anyway, but it was fun to rag on him. 

“Noooo, but I can pay you with my body,” Kenny drawled. Stan almost automatically faked a gag, and threw Kenny off of him. Laughing, the two of them got up and headed for the snack line. Stan cocked his head at Kyle, silently asking him if he wanted anything. 

Kyle waved his hand dismissively, but Stan knew he’d still ask for a bite of his hotdog or a sip of his soda. He really didn’t mind though, it was tradition. 

As Kenny and Stan climbed their way down the metal bleachers, the hooded boy tapped him impatiently, “Hey, so,” He coughed, “I heard about Wendy,” 

Stan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure you did,” 

“No, I mean, like,” Kenny put his hand around Stan’s shoulder as they walked closer and closer to the food court. “Kyle is pretty worried,” 

Worried? Why would Kyle be worried? This exact situation has happened tons of times before. 

“Why?” Stan laughed, getting his dollar bills out to count. 

“He said that you said you were distracted by something before, and now with the whole freshman situation, it just seems like a shit ton of stuff is happening to you in a good, like, two week span,” Kenny said, although it was muffled. 

“Gee, didn’t know you and Kyle were besties,” Stan said jokingly, but his tone was devoid of any humor. 

“Is that jealousy?” Kenny ‘tsked’ him, removing his arm from Stan’s shoulder. “But be real with me Stan, I feel like I might know who you are distracted by,” 

Stan bristled, looking around them to see if anyone was listening in. Nobody seemed to really be paying attention. Craig and Tweek were three people ahead, arms linked. 

“What is that supposed to mean? How would you possibly know?” Stan hissed, his defenses going up. Kenny sighed. 

“Look, all I know is that I’m pretty sure super best friends don’t get cranky when their friend has a crush on someone else,” Kenny whispered, making sure to keep his tone low due to Stan’s obvious anxiety over the situation. 

Stan stood completely still for a second, forgetting to breathe. Was it that obvious? He could practically feel his face going pale, and he gulped. 

“Hey, hey, I’m not judging, I mean, Kyle’s pretty hot,” Kenny laughed, patting his shoulder. 

Stan narrowed his eyes, “Dude,” 

Two hours had passed, and South Park was kicking the other team’s ass. Eric was barely doing anything, just running after the ball in an attempt to look like he was trying. Kyle laughed extremely loudly, curling into himself when that laughter started to hurt his stomach. Everytime Kyle would laugh, and Stan would stare. 

He couldn’t help but stare longingly, the way the emeralds in Kyle’s eyes seemed to sparkle as a laugh bubbled up his throat. The stupid way his laugh crackled sometimes, the way Kyle would sometimes lean into Stan when caught in a fit. 

Soon enough the game was over, but Stan wanted more. He just wanted to see more happiness on Kyle’s face, the sense of broken elegance and structured rebellion was all too great to fit into a four hour game. 

So, once he dropped Kenny and Eric off, he nudged Kyle on the shoulder. 

“Hey, wanna go to Stark’s Pond?” 

Kyle furrowed his brows, “And do what?” 

“I don’t know, I think I have some beer in the backseat somewhere, if Kenny didn’t drink it all on the way home,” Stan laughed, trying his best to sound casual. 

Kyle seemed satisfied with this, and just nodded, leaning back against the back of his seat. He put one elbow on the door, resting his head in his palm. Stan drove, Kyle gazing at the stretching road in front of them. 

Kyle was a lot quieter when it was just him and Stan, perfectly content to drop his defensive facade and fall into silence. Silence was perfectly comfortable for them, to just think of their own things but feel the comfort of one another. Kyle’s eyelashes fluttered against his cheekbone, red and barely visible. 

When they reached their destination, Stan grabbed a six-pack from his trunk and a little blanket. Kyle stretched, walking over to the side of the pond. A small stone bench was there, and he collapsed clumsily onto it. Stan just laughed, sitting beside him and covering them with a blanket. 

“Holy shit, Stan, look at the stars,” His eyes shone with amazement, Orien’s belt reflecting in his pupils. Hundreds of stars hung in the sky above them, seemingly paused in time. Stan traced out the Big Dipper with his eyes, then Ursa Major and Minor. 

Pointing them out to Kyle, he saw the ginger grin, his eyes following where Stan pointed to. 

Cracking open a beer, he handed one to Kyle, before settling down beside the boy. They fell into easy silence again, and Kyle rested his head on Stan’s shoulder. 

“I don’t think I wanna date that girl anymore, Stan,” Kyle whispered, giving Stan goosebumps. 

Stan blinked, swallowing carefully before speaking, “Why? Did she do something?” 

Kyle shook his head no, “No, no, it’s just- I’m not so sure I like her. I mean, she’s nice and all, but I don’t know,” 

“Oh,” 

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” 

“Well, at least you got a friend to talk to about politics now, I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff,” Stan laughed nervously, “I guess I’m uncultured,” 

Kyle snorted, “Yeah, dude, you’re pretty uncultured,” Kyle’s tone shifted, “But still, you’re my super best friend, it’s probably better for me to lay off that stuff sometimes anyway,” 

Stan raised an eyebrow, “Why?” 

“It gets kind of depressing sometimes,” Kyle shrugged, “Plus, not everybody cares that much about it,” 

“That doesn’t mean you can’t care about it,” Stan wrapped an arm around his friend, just his friend, nothing more, “But, if it makes you depressed, I guess it’s good to take breaks,” 

“I guess,” 

They talked for the next hour about stupid stuff and not so stupid stuff. Talked about gossip at school, people they didn’t like, their fears, classes they hated. 

It was about midnight when Stan finally made it home. Immediately, he curled up in his bed, not even bothering to take his beanie off. Kyle was on his mind, even when he fell unconscious. 

\----

“Have you ever considered that maybe you just have a crush on him, dude?” Kenny rolled over, petting Sparky’s back. Stan was over at his desk, furiously flipping through pages in his notebook, however, this flipping immediately halted as Stan whipped around, face cherry-red. 

“What did you just say?” Stan hissed, but his wobbly tone betrayed him. 

“I said, you might have a crush on Kyle. The way you described it to me, man, it really sounds like it,” Kenny hummed, rubbing Sparky’s chin. Sparky responded with a gleeful ‘Boof!’, rolling over to show his tummy. 

“I’m not- I do not have a crush on Kyle, dude!” Stan shouted, reaching behind him to grab a pillow to throw. It bounced off on Kenny’s head, and he laughed, throwing one off Stan’s bed. 

“Look, I’m sorry dude, but ‘just friends’ don’t go around fantasizing about each other’s eyecolor and shit!” Kenny dodged a pillow. 

Stan froze, wondering if Kenny had somehow read the shitty poetry he wrote about Kyle. The look on his face made the blond burst out laughing, “Dude, I was joking! Did you actually-” 

A pillow hit Kenny square in the face, and Stan groaned louder than necessary. “Shut up, you think I don’t know about your deal with Butters?” 

Kenny’s face burst into the color of a flame, and Stan had the nerve to laugh at it. “Oh god, I can imagine it, ‘Oh Leopold, please bed me!’” 

Kenny immediately fired back, mocking Stan’s voice in a laughably high pitch. “Kyle, your fucking eyes sparkle like a slime in Minecraft!” 

Stan gasped in indignance, “Oh my god, be quiet, Mr. Stotch!’” 

Kenny collapsed on the bed in laughter, “Mr. Broflovski!” 

Stan wheezed, scaring Sparky and making him run under the bed. This only made the duo laugh more. After all the laughing died down, Kenny whispered into the open air, “Stan, I’m not even gonna lie, Kyle definitely likes you back,” 

Stan responded by rolling his eyes, scoffing, “Yeah, sure, he’s clearly head-over-heels for me, how could I have been so blind?” 

Kenny groaned loudly, “Ugh, Stan, I’m serious. Our little spitfire might just have a thing for you, well actually, not just might, he definitely does,” 

Stan grimaced, “Dude, never call Kyle a spitfire to his face, you’ll be dead by the end of the conversation,” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Kenny remarked, ignoring the bewildered look on Stan’s face. 

“What?” 

“Nevermind, anyway, what’s important here is that you need to take the stick out of your ass and ask Kyle on a date,” Kenny said matter-of-factly. “Just trust me, okay?” 

“But, like, I don’t wanna ruin our friendship,” Stan sighed. 

“It won’t, pinky-promise,” Kenny put his pinkie out, even though Stan was across the room. 

The conversation quickly faded into talks of anime and stupid videos they’d seen. Stan was hardly paying attention though, mind to focused on other matters. Kyle spread throughout the neurons in his brain, and he couldn’t help but to shudder when thinking of a universe where Kyle might actually like him back. I mean, just two hours ago if you told Stan he had a crush on Kyle he would’ve laughed in your face before having a mental breakdown, of course.

This news was super unsettling, but not completely unwelcome. It was just weird to think that he might actually be gay. Of course, that opened up a whole other set of loopholes, because he actually really had a thing for Wendy too, and some female celebrity crushes. He wasn’t gay, but he certainly wasn’t straight either, fuck. 

Later that night, with Kenny gone and his sheets pulled up over his face, Stan cried.  
Cried because this was all too difficult. Because, no, he couldn’t have a crush on Kyle. Kenny was fucking wrong, he was sure of it. He wasn’t gay, he didn’t have a crush, Kyle was his friend, and that’s it. Of course, even when he was repeating that mantra over and over in his head, he couldn’t help but to long for Kyle beside him. Kyle would know what to say to ease him. 

But he wasn’t there. 

He couldn’t be. 

\----------

mcbitch: ok thats it 

Mcbitch: unfortuantely i am tired of ur moodiness so i pulled sum strings

Stab: wat 

Mcbitch: kyle needs 2 b picked up at 4 pm b there and drive him home. 

Stab: wtf

Stab: kendrick what have you done 

Mcbitch: an act of heroism 

Mcbitch: ull thank me l8r now go pick ur bf up 

Stab: its like 3:15 

Stab: also why why why why why why 

Mcbitch: ur a lil bitch did u kno that

Stab: thats a given but also why

Mcbitch: silence bottom

Stab: I AM NOT A BTOTOM

Mcbitch: yes u r stop denying it 

Mcbitch: NOW GO PICK UP UR HUSBAND

Stab: ITS 3:20 

Mcbitch: DID I STUTTER

Stab: IM OBVIOUSLY GONA PICK HIM UP BUT IM NOT GONNA ARRIVE 40 MINUTES  
EARLY U SLUT 

Mcbitch: BITCH weve been KNEW IM A SLUT 

Mcbitch: its not an insult if i proudly wear the title

Stab: spoken like a true slut

Mcbitch: if im a slut what does that make you

Stab: no comment

Mcbitch: thats wat i thot 

Stan groaned, collapsing into his bed. Probably to scream into his pillow, who knows?

Meanwhile, Kenny was at his house, rapidly texting a certain ginger. 

Mcbitch: ok the slut has been appeased

Kylejenner: wat

Mcbitch: hes coming 

Kylejenner: debate club dosnt end until 4 lil buddy

Mcbitch: and?? Did i ask?? Where it does it say i asked

Kylejenner: i hate u 

Mcbitch: thats my boy now go back to fighting republicans 

Kylejenner: wait did u just make stan come pick me up 

Mcbitch: yeah? What about it 

Kylejenner: idk hes been acting kind a weird lately 

Mcbitch: ha 

Kylejenner: ??

Mcbitch: oh nothign

Mcbitch: anyway ill text u when ur uber is outside 

Kylejenner: stan could just text me u know 

Mcbitch: nooo i like being apart of this 

Kylejenner: wait….am suspicious

Kylejenner: wat do u know?? 

Mcbitch: * i am looking away meme * 

Kylejenner: MCCORMICK 

Mcbitch: ahem thot thats mcbitch to u 

Mcbitch: and I DONT KNOW ANTHING 

Kylejenner: yes u do u ugly ass hoe now spill it or feel my wrath 

Kenny quickly switched chats. 

Mcbitch: ok so kyle def knows sometings up 

Stab: oh my god 

Mcbitch: i mean…………………………………………………………………

Stab: i hate u 

Mcbitch: thats funny i recall you calling thanking me five seconds ago 

Stab: literally didnt i dont think ive ever thanked u b4 for anything in my life 

Mcbitch: huh thats funny i guess ur phone is just deleting messages then

Stab: bitch  
Mcbitch: thats my name dont wear it out 

Stab: wait how does he kno r u just that bad at keeping secrets

Mcbitch: i didnt say he Knew that i just mean he knows somethings up 

Mcbitch: plus u havent exactly been a super bff lately dude

Stab: ugurfuhruhrghrh 

Mcbitch: i see u avoiding kyle an shit thats not cool 

Stab: but its so harddddddddddddddddd

Mcbitch: to what? Talk to him, tell him ur a pussy

Stab: shut ur up

Kenny switched chats again. 

Mcbitch: I KNOW NOTHIGN

Kylejenner: yes u do u just exited out the chat for like 2 minutes and came back ur definitely talking to someone esle

Kylejenner: dare i say...stan

Kylejenner: if its cartman ill light u on fire 

Mcbitch: ugh no kyle it was just ur mom sending me nudes 

Kylejenner: ughhghg dude

Kylejenner: u know im not gonna let this go right

Mcbitch: yeah i know 

Mcbitch: lil spitfire

Kylejenner: WHAT DID U JUST CALL ME 

Mcbitch: lil spitfire

Kylejenner: blocked and reported

Mcbitch: call the cops see if i care ill just fuck them  
\---------

Kyle sighed, frosty breath flowing out of his mouth into the wind. He remembered doing this when he was younger, pretending he was smoking. Now that he actually smokes occasionally, it’s not as fun. 

Stan should’ve been there 3 minutes ago, but it doesn’t hurt to get some fresh air. Other people were leaving, one flipping him the bird which he gladly returned back. Stan’s shitty little Chevrolet pulled up, one door opening for him. Kyle climbed inside, taking note of how Stan seemed to sweat just at the sight of him. 

Kyle relaxed against the fuzzy seat, shutting the door and pushing his seat back to accommodate his oversized legs. “Hey, dude, thanks for the ride,” 

“N-No problem, dude,” Stan mumbled, hands tight at 12 and 3. Kyle furrowed his eyebrows, shifting his position. 

The entire ride was silent, nothing except for the shitty low-quality radio in Stan’s car playing R&B music. 

Finally, just before they pulled on Kyle’s street, he turned to his best friend of 16 years. 

“What the hell is going on with you, man? I’m worried,” Kyle sighed, crossing his arms and leaning slightly over the gearshift 

Stan’s face cycled through many emotions quickly, and Kyle honest-to-god thought he might puke right there in the car, but surprisingly Stan held it in. 

“I can’t- I can’t tell you, alright?” Stan whispered, hands still gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing connecting him to the ground. “It’s- It’ll fuck up everything, it’s not worth it,” 

Kyle frowned, twisting the key and taking it out the engine so Stan didn’t waste gas. “It is worth it if it makes you feel better, dude,” Kyle undid his seatbelt. 

“It’s nothing, I swear,” Stan shivered, staring at his feet on the pedals. 

“Well, it’s obviously something involving me, otherwise you wouldn’t have an issue with telling me,” Kyle thought aloud. 

“Fuck, why do you have to be so fucking smart? Can’t you just let me keep this to myself?” Stan growled unexpectedly, Kyle flinching. 

Kyle pulled it together, giving Stan a hard, steady look. “No, I won’t, it’s hurting you,” Stan threw his hands up, hitting the steering wheel with his fist angrily. He looked more frustrated than angry. 

“It’s my problem!” Stan hissed, glaring at Kyle. It was no use anyway, Kyle could be 100x more intimidating than him at any given second.

“It obviously involves me somehow, dipshit,” Kyle rolled his eyes, voice still calm. “Just say it, please, let me help you for once,” 

Stan pushed his face into his palms, then threaded his fingers through his hair. “How the hell would you know it involves you? How do you even know it’s hurting me? Just let me be, goddamnit,” 

“I know it’s hurting you because you don’t get this angry unless it’s something big. I’m not stupid, Stan, I know how you react to things. We’ve known eachother for what? 16 years? I think that’s a long enough amount of time to determine whether someone will flip their shit or stay calm. I care about you so much, dude, you’re my best friend,” Kyle choked, shocking Stan. Kyle didn’t cry, he never did, not once. Especially not during arguments. Stan felt a massive wave of guilt bowl him over at once. 

He was making Kyle cry. 

A tear dripped down his freckled cheeks, and Stan ignored all his rationality to wipe it off with his thumb. 

“Please don’t cry, please,” Once Stan had wiped the tear away, he didn’t bother to move his hand away, instead placing it right in his palm. “I’ll- I’ll tell you, god, I hope Kenny is right about this,” 

Kyle sniffled. 

“I-” Stan stumbled over his words, “Maybe I should just show you, honestly, it’ll take forever to get these words out.” Stan sighed, taking in a deep breath. 

Like slow motion, Stan gripped Kyle’s face lightly, pressing his cracked lips to Kyle’s soft, peppermint-tasting ones. Kyle gasped, but relaxed into it quickly. Stan moved against him, thumb drawing circles on his cheekbone. Kyle was gripping the seat harshly, fingertips turning white. 

It felt too right, like Stan was finally exhaling after years of holding his breath. A decade of pining lifted off of him in an instant as Kyle put his one hand behind Stan’s neck. 

They finally pulled apart, Stan’s pupils blown wide and face red as a cherry. Kyle looked about the same, though a small smile was set on his lips. “I didn’t think-” 

“Kyle,” Stan sighed happily, “I think I maybe love you or something, I don’t know,” Kyle smiled too, wrapping his hands around Stan and holding him tight.

“I think that maybe I might love you or something too,” Kyle blushed, but grinning. “For awhile now.” 

“Dude, me too!” Stan laughed, voice bubbly and beaming. “This is awesome!” 

“I know, right?” Kyle smirked, “Wait, dude, is this why you were ignoring me?” There’s a tone of sadness that overtakes Kyle’s voice for a brief second. 

“I- Well, yeah, I guess it was,” Stan murmurs, “I honestly didn’t know I had a crush on you until; Kenny told me, and then it hit me like a train,” 

He remembers it, the sweaty nights and tangled sheets, the longing stares that hurt him every time. 

“Wow, that’s crazy, Kenny has been the ringleader this whole time,” Kyle laughs, “I told him I liked you too!” 

“Oh my god, it would’ve been so much easier if Kenny just told me that, I was literally sweating waiting to pick you up,” Stan groans jokingly, before realizing that Mr. Broflovski is standing in the doorway waiting for Kyle to come inside. Stan blushes, pointing him out to the ginger beside him. 

“Aw shit, talk to you later, Stan,” Kyle hums, a grin on his face, “Love you,” 

Stan bursts into a blush, before meekly responding, “I love you too,”

As he gets home, he immediately opens up his chat with Kenny.

Stab: kenny you fucker

\------------------------------


End file.
